This Year Ill forget you

So she asks me about you
And any stories I have
She's bring up old memories I'd rather forget
Asking me what your like
Are you a nice guy
Did you use me
And do you just want sex
And I sit there
And i say yes
I start hating myself for still loving you
Dispite me knowing the truth
I really am an idiot when it comes to you

I realize, that overall, you weren’t worth it. There were moments with you that made me really, really happy; but the majority of the time you shut me out. That’s why I swear I’ll try and get over you. We might have had something really great, but i guess we’ll never know. I’ll never forget the good times i had with you, but i’ll also never forget how you hurt me more than anyone i have ever known.

I say I'll delet his number and old text messages
But I don't just incase he realizes what he is missing

I fell in love with a fucking asshole

You said to me 'I don't dance, I'd rather watch' I guess I just wasn't good enough to dance with
But I don't think she is either.

You push every good guy away to make more room for the one who's going to break you.

Dear him
I'm not interested in how you are or who you've been doing
I wanted to tell you I miss, not you but I miss the 'Goodmorning or goodnight babe' texts,
I miss those visits on my breaks, playing me your latest favourite song, I miss those late nights watch batman and those late night chats, I even miss that beer you drink and I miss the desiel smell after you finished work
I miss those long ass drives to no where with no purpose, I miss the sex and the stupid jokes you told I even miss the way your hat felt on my head when I took them off you
And with all those things I guess truth be told I do miss you but I really don't want to.

I made a lot of mistakes last year some bad choices and met some bad people
2011 was a year of healing, bad decisions and a lot of lessons
I'm ready to start a new year with good people and hopefully good choices
And a hell of a lot of fun...

Realizing you wasted a whole year on some dickhead that you could do so much better

Your the stupidest mistake I made all year

In 2012
I won't make the same mistake
You'll be a thing of the past
Not even a memory to me

I wish I didnt know you

I wear my heart on my sleeve Always let love take the lead I may be a little naive yeah -Rihanna

So i begin the game again, ill pretend im gonna move on until the next time.

im starting to hate the girl you make me, not that its all your fault, but you deserve some of the blame, your an asshole and im the game, im going to make sure you lose.

youll forever go down in my heart as that one person nomatter what you did, ill forgive you, no matter how many times i say no, ill never be completly gone, and no matter how much i want to be over you, i dont know if i ever will be.

and i find old photos of us, and all i can do is stare at us, i honestly cant remember who we were then, or how we felt, it feels like a life time ago, even tho is was a year ago, i dont think youd like the person i am now, and im actually ok with that, i dont think id like who youve become either, you never realise how much you change till you see the old you and dont regconise yourself.

 i loved you more than i loved myself, but things have changed, and im so glad im over you.

Im going to leave this town and never look back, im gonna travel the world, while you wish i was your girl.

'it's like you're screaming and no one can hear
you almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important
that without them you feel like nothing.
no one will ever understand how much it hurts.
you feel hopeless,like nothing can save you.
and when it's over and it's gone you
almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you could
have the good''

quote from we found love - rihanna (official music video)

You make me feel pathetic

I'm done trying.
If you want me in your life,
let me know.

And I won't fight you anymore I never been so sure

Your to good at making me feel like a fool.

We could be perfect together, but we wont get the chance.

I hate how we never got our chance to see what we could've been.
I hate how I know I’m not over you and how I pretend to be.

I let the phone ring, why won't you believe me
I wait for silence, takes a lot not to answer

-Kelly Clarckson

You get drunk and say all the things i wanna hear,

you sober up and pretend i dont exist anymore.

i'd built up such an illusion about him. I thought he was so perfect.

i need to let you go, i know that, im trying but your the first person i want

to tell when something funny happens or the person i want to cheer me up

when i am down, i really wish i didnt make you so important to me,

because now i dont know how to stop.

I cant wait here forever, and im not going to, this is the last chance, im not turning back..

im not giving up im just giving in

things are never going to change between you and I.

I ain't falling back again
'Cause I'm living my truth without your lies
Let's be clear baby this is goodbye
I ain't coming back tomorrow

-Kelly clarckson

You turned into everything I hate But I still love you...

And here I'll sit and cry just because I thought you still loved me like once upon a time.

 

 
I want to just stop thinking about you
I tried so hard for you but your nothing but a boy on a rampage and my heart got in your way

 
I would have given up everything for you and you knew that
I can't believe my self
I can't believe in you anymore

 
This has gotten complicated
Your my bestfriend 
And you did the one thing you knew would hurt me
Now we need to decide our friendship or our fight 
 

 
Its wierd I never thought I could meet someone who was so willing to stab me in the back so easily

 
Were you listening when I told you I'd rather be hurt by the truth than a lie.

 
You just recycle your cute lines and use them on all the girls

 
I know I do this to myself
But I keep thinking I'll be the one to make you see
And you'll relise all you want is me

I can't talk to you anymore, it's not that I am mad at you, it's just that when 
I talk to you I realize how much I like you and when I realize how much I like you,
I realize I can't have you and that makes me like you even more.

i keep saying to myself 
stop caring stop trying
maybe im not that girl anymore
there are many reasons for that:
i dont know how to be that girl
and i kinda dont want to be.

secret: i am getting so used to crying myself to sleep